"If you want something different to come out of mediation, you have to do something different in the mediation."
SIMON DADLEY-MOORE
The Three Stories I Hear Almost Every Week
These are real people. Real situations. Real consequences of walking into mediation unprepared.
Story #1: "I Agreed to Things Just to End It"
"My ex kept interrupting and talking over me. When I reacted I became the unreasonable one. I felt so overwhelmed that I just started agreeing to things to make it stop. Now I see my kids every other weekend instead of the shared care I wanted."
What went wrong: No plan for staying regulated under pressure. No strategy for handling ex-partner's predictable behaviour. No understanding of how to communicate effectively in a mediation setting.
Story #2: "We Just Kept Going in Circles"
"Four hours! Four hours of the same arguments we'd been having for months. She blamed me for the past. I pointed out that she wasn't all innocent angel herself. The mediator finally said we should just go to court."
What went wrong: Stuck in the same destructive patterns. No tools to break the attack-defend cycle. No plan for constructive communication.
Story #3: "I Lost My Cool. It Ruined Everything"
"When he started lying about the finances and trying to make me look like the bad parent, I just snapped. I started yelling, brought up all the things he'd done wrong. The mediator ended the session. Now he is pushing for full custody in court.
What went wrong: No emotional regulation tools. No preparation for dealing with triggers. No strategy for responding to false accusations
Here's the truth: These outcomes were completely avoidable.
Every one of these people could have got more out of mediation if they had prepared for what were very predictable situations.
Now Meet David
David was heading into mediation with his ex-wife about the children's care arrangements and child -support.
Like most people,
he thought there was not much point preparing because "its not going to work anyway!"
David's Fears
- "What if she manipulates the conversation like she always does?"
- "What if I lose my temper when she starts lying?"
- "What if I agree to something stupid just to end the fighting?"
- "What if I walk away with less time with my kids?"
After Pre-Mediation Coaching
"I can't believe how different it was. When she started her usual manipulation tactics, I didn't take the bait. I had a plan. I knew exactly how to respond. With help we ended up having productive conversations about the kids. We agreed on a parenting schedule and we both walked feeling a little bit more positive about the future."
Here's What Changed Everything for David
- #1 He Learned to Recognize the Traps
When she tried to pull him into an argument, he saw it coming and didn't engage. - #2 He Had a Communication Strategy
Instead of reacting emotionally, he spoke in ways that maintained the conversation. - #3 He Stayed Regulated Under Pressure
Even when things got tense, he had tools to stay calm and think clearly. - #4 He Knew How to Redirect
When conversations went off track, he had techniques to bring the focus back to solutions.
- #5 He Practiced Difficult Scenarios
We rehearsed the hardest conversations so nothing caught him off guard. - #6 He Had Clear Goals
He knew exactly what he wanted and had a plan to get there. - #7 He Could Handle Attacks
When she made accusations, he responded calmly without getting defensive. - #8 He Kept His Power
He maintained his emotional and behavioural balance. He never gave away his strength or let her behaviour control his behaviour.
OVER A DECADE OF EXPERIENCE
I've Helped Thousands Navigate Mediation Successfully
For over a decade, I was at the forefront of developing and facilitating Fair Way Resolution's hugely successful Preparation for Mediation (PFM) coaching service.
10+
Years of Experiences
1000's
Families Helped
5*****
Experience
Real people. Real outcomes. Real transformations.
The Results Speak for Themselves
"Hi Simon, the mediation went really well this morning! No anger, nice and calm, we resolved lots of issues, I had plenty of breaks so I could think clearly! Awesome result. Thank you so much for your coaching, it was really helpful!!"
- Michelle
Sent this text 2 hours after her mediation
"I was dreading mediation for months. After working with Simon, I
actually felt confident walking in. We reached an agreement in 3 hours
that works for both of us and, most importantly, puts our daughter first."- James
Father of one, successful mediation
What's the difference between these success stories and the disasters you heard earlier?
Preparation. Strategy. The right tools at the right time.
How I Can Help You Prepare
Choose the support level that's right for your situation
IT'S TIME TO MAKE A DECISION
WHICH STORY WILL BE YOURS?
Without Preparation:
- Walk in blind and reactive
- Get manipulated and overwhelmed
- Agree to things you'll regret
- Walk away frustrated and powerless
- End up in court anyway
With Pre-Mediation Coaching:
- Walk in confident with a clear plan
- Stay calm under pressure
- Communicate effectively
- Reach agreements that actually work
- Move forward with your life
Your mediation is scheduled. It's happening.
The question isn't whether you'll show up—
it's whether you'll show up prepared.
